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[Music]

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you

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I'm Jane ul and seven

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two years old I lost my daughter 16

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years ago and she was 30 years old in a

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violent crime they put me on the path to

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be in the same room with this evil man

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over and over in adherence I've always

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been a spiritual person I was raised in

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a Mississippi Baptist Church where you

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were going to go to hell if you danced I

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loved dancing there were so many rules

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that I had trouble growing up and I kept

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thinking if I'm perfect they'll accept

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me if I'm perfect and everything will be

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okay if I'm perfect I'll go to heaven

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and that became impossible when I got to

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be 21 I took my first drink and it was a

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great friend to me because I wasn't

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afraid anymore I didn't I wasn't afraid

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of going to help in those moments and so

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I ended up becoming an alcoholic for

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eight years in a way that opened my eyes

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to a different type of higher power or

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Supreme Being or a divine person and

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entities as we might call it it's

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automatics it's something outside of

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myself that I can't see I can't you know

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that it's beyond the known in the scene

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it's something very powerful and what

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words are used to me whether it's God

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divine I know that UFOs are a big part

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of people knowing that there's something

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beyond us it's bigger than us it's

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trying to reach us

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and we come to it in different ways with

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different words and so when I got into

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an organized group for helping me with

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my alcoholism so first time it ever been

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introduced to me that it could be a God

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of my understanding and that began to

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free me and so for years at least I was

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trying to find a connection with this

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one entity

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as I understood him and how he was

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dealing with my life and but my concept

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of him was very linear it was me and him

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that was it me and God me and God and

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one day I got a phone call that my

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mother had died she was just 58 I was 38

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and I went to visit her friend and my

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friend there was several of us sitting

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around and this one man was telling a

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very interesting story and I was just

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enthralled in his story and my friend

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got up and turned off the lamp in front

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of me and the one behind me and but I

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just kept on listening to this man and

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when it was all over she said there was

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the most beautiful woman standing over

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you with her hands on your shoulders and

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she was smiling and she wasn't but five

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feet tall and she described her dress

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and this friend had never seen my mother

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and she described the dress that my

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mother had been buried in and so that

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opened me up to maybe there was another

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spiritual entity to all of this

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and so then one day after my daughter

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died I went to a holistic Expo and this

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one woman just caught my attention with

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her eyes and and I knew that I needed to

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talk to her and that was who I wanted to

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do a reading for me and I did not tell

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her for quite a while about my daughter

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but she kept telling me I did several

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readings with her through the years and

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she eventually became a spiritual mentor

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and so she at one time I ride a bike

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alot and I hate helmets I don't like

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things around my neck and I hate helmets

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and I'm pretty sure I must have been

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hung in a former life but anyway she was

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doing a reading and she said she just

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cracked that laughs and she didn't know

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I wrote about and she said I can just

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see Joanne for some reason riding on

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this bicycle with his huge

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going on and and it was Joann because I

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knew she was concerned that I rode

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without a helmet so that widened it to

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now I've got God the supreme I've got my

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mother I've got my daughter and so

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that's what riding my widened my focus

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into the spiritual world and then when

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when my daughter died I I went to a very

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dark place

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I had no beliefs anymore and had even

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wondered if what I told them growing up

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was right about it a loving God and then

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that at that period of time though I had

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I had a a way to choose how I was going

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to search for God and if I came a great

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searcher for God and through my search

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for God my daughter's been able to talk

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to me because I had to open my heart to

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get any help from the Supreme Being and

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it opened my heart to my daughter and

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she event she eventually taught me how

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to love myself and she would tell me you

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know if I go to nature that she can not

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only be with me but she can become the

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things I love and surround me and so

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that's when I got a sense of of there

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being something that's going to keep me

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safe and guided all around me at all

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times and from that point on I I'm very

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open I listen I know the everybody run

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into as a teacher for me and I've always

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got something to teach those to come to

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me and so on this human journey it's

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just an exploration an exploration for

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me to get closer to myself with the help

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of the angels and my higher problem the

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things that I've learned is that it's

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okay to be me as the biggest thing now

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I'm here for a reason and and I was made

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me for a reason

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and that I brought a mission with me and

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that's the biggest thing that I've

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learned on two levels

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I can accept that my daughter died and I

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know that it

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was pre-planned before we came down here

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but on a human level

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I hate and cry for my daughter sometimes

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and somebody even asked me once wouldn't

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it be great if you knew everything was

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okay and you didn't have to go through

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all this and I said well that's the

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whole reason I'm here if I knew your

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thing was going to be okay I would

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search I wouldn't believe I would have

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pay and so what gets me through the hard

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times is knowing that there's a reason

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for everything it's meant to be and

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that's been the biggest thing I've

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learned the other thing I've learned is

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that there's nobody in this world it

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isn't searching for the same things I am

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or understanding and peace and feeling

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safe and so love is the only way the two

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spirits connect so if I'm open with a

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loving heart it's going to be hard for

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them not to be open and loving also if

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they come and seek me out I have it

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guarded enough to where I can pretty

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well read people well if it's if it's

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ill intentions I can I can see that

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quickly but I always feel like that I'm

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teaching them and they're teaching me

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and the biggest thing I learned that you

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know to to embrace the joys and the

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sorrows they all have a purpose and

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that's there I guess there's a gift at

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the end of very experience if you let

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finish out before you make any judgment

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about it for someone that's on their

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discovery of their spiritual journey the

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best thing is not to push it with your

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mind to want it with open heart and to

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ask for it the desire for it and not be

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surprised at what that when it's going

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to come to you and how it's going to

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come to you to tear up any itinerary

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that you've got planned for your life

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and any way you think you're going to be

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communicated with and you're going to be

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very surprised at how the answers come

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and is your if you're just beginning

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you're going to be found more than your

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going to

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and open up the love for you but it's

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all your intention it's all your motive

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in what you're really asking for from

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your heart and then the rest of it

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you're going to be cured as long as

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you're being yourself then your mission

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is going to unfold and as long as you've

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got love in your heart you're going to

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experience more rapture than you ever

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believed you could for the family

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members that don't totally understand

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what I'm talking about or where I am I

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don't I don't argue with them I I am

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true to my own self in that I disclose

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only what I want to disclose to them and

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I've learned to discern the people I

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want to share my journey with so that it

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doesn't dilute what I'm feeling but the

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main thing that I do is I just don't I

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don't judge them and I don't try to win

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them over I feel like everybody's got

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their own path and for some reason this

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family was perfect for me and got me

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where I was supposed to be led and so I

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at some point in my heart thank them for

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being hard to live with because that's

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what brought me to a deeper

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understanding of what love is and

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there's probably I cannot think of one

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family member that fully understands

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where I am I have one aunt that's in a

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Mississippi Baptist Church that I love

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dearly and she loved me but she'd say

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why Janie

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and you know God wouldn't want you to

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say that or Janie you need to do this

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but I knew her intentions were well and

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I knew she loved me and that's why she

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was trying to guide me and direct me and

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so I just said I so appreciate your

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loving me that much to let me know what

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I found I found that most people say

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things that make them feel better a lot

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of times they'll say something that

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they're afraid not to

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believe or what to feel and a lot of

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times those are the things that family

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and friends can say to you so I guess

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the main thing is in sharing I try not

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to dilute it with people that that want

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to argue about how I am because I'm not

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going to be argued with at all the only

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other thing that I can think of that I

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would really like to cover is that

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everybody has got a mission and a

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purpose and there's two levels actually

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three levels of consciousness and living

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what is the divine which is what we're

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all trying to reach our spirit is a

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connection to the divine and we've got a

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yearning and then we've got the human

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body which is the greatest miracle that

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because they have been designed and

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invented and then we've got the

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transformation zone and that's what we

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live most of the time and I guess the

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main thing I want anybody starting out

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particularly is to know that once you

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get in that transformation zone there

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are times when you're going to feel lost

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and empty and feel like you're not doing

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something right but it's only because

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that that you're learning new ways of

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seeing the world you're learning to

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learn yourself in a different way and

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live a different way so your old methods

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and your old defenses and all of that

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are not going to help you anymore

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and you just have to make your vessel

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open for the need to come in so it's

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okay to be lost you'll find your way

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back just don't wander off the path too

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far I have two books that have been

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published the first one is called

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payment for passage and I wrote that

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with the intent of keeping my daughter's

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memory alive after she was dead I had no

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faith or any kind of beliefs anymore and

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to write that book I knew the name of it

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but my daughter was the one that finally

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came in into my and automatic writing

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and said mom don't worry about the

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content just write it and the meanings

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going to come to you it's for your

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healing first and so I wrote that book

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and found my spiritual beliefs again

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that we had together and

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so it's a chronicle of my life in my

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journey with my daughter before and

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after her death and she actually comes

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to me at one point and tells me the

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meaning of life and death the second

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book is embracing the human journey and

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this is a series of messages that I have

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gotten from her about the human journey

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from her heav'nly perspective and she

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not only has given me messages that I

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share in the book and share with the

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reader but at times she knew that since

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I'm a person that needs to experience

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things she would actually give me things

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to write down that I needed to do

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exercises spiritual exercises and so

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what I would do to find the answer was

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to follow those exercises and then in

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the book I share how I dealt with those

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exercises and how they changed me and

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what they did there is also ex spiritual

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exercises for the reader their questions

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very hard spiritual questions for the

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people's of ponder for a while you can

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take a while to read that book because

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there's sections on letting go there's

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there's sections on anything that might

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cause make it hard to be a human being

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you know it's great to think about and

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learn about the angels and other

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entities and all the bottom line is

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we've got to live as a human being down

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here

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and we live with ourselves more than

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anyone else and so this book is to carry

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the reader to a place where they're

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learning who they are and they start

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embracing the human journey with open

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arms I have a website where people can

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contact me and there's also a link to

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Facebook I have a blog and it's very

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simple it's Janie Wells calm and on that

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you'll find out about me you'll find out

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a bit more about my daughter a lot about

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the books you'll you'll get to review

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the books to see which one you might

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like and a blog that I invite readers to

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participate in but they can find just